rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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