woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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