VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
These tits shall not be calmed
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
