is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
