yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
