Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
