you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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