I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
