I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
