the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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