took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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