Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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