I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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