found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He shit in the fireplace
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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