Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
