why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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