I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
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When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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