I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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