Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
