she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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