If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
