I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
