the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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