you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
