I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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