After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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