At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
