i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize