They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize