I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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