so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize