I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
