Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
