I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
