Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i drank out of a bidet.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
