he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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