I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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