It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
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i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
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I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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