It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
