We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
