so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!