Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.