my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito