i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat