I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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