singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
