I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
as a side note pls kill me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
