i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
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Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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