She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
