Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
