??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
im on a boat
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