Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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