she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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