then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
