I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
