all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We left the knife in your bed.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
