so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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