I have demons in me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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