My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
