I bet he comes in French.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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