I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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